Goodness

I had a baby three years ago. I had a healthy, libidinous pregnancy, a natural home birth, and just over two years of breastfeeding. It’s all been great, except the sleep deprivation. I’ve found myself needing to get closer and closer to 9 hours a night, while it’s getting less and less likely that I can or will.

Now, I don’t agree with the people who say having kids ruins your sex life. Then again, I don’t agree with the people who say that it doesn’t. Let’s just say that it certainly can, but it doesn’t have to.

My husband and I have been together for just over four years. That’s four total, not four married. Around six months into our relationship, we found out that we had done something incredibly stupid. Despite my guy’s stress levels (young pregnant girlfriend, three jobs, etc.) landing him in premature ejaculation territory, we were having sex all the time. Much to my midwife’s amusement, we kept at it even when it started sending me into false labor. Oh, youth. Then there was a baby, and we weren’t sleeping much at all, and suddenly sex was not so frequent. We’d go four days, a week, two weeks… Recurring yeast infections certainly didn’t help. It felt wrong to not be having sex. We felt like we were turning into one of those couples that tells everyone how kids/cohabitation/marriage ruined their sex lives. We felt like we were supposed to be having sex, and so we had perfunctory, exhausted, brief sex. Not so fun. Now, though… We’ve got this thing down. The trick is to wait until you’re both ready – not too tired, unbathed or stressed out. It might feel like a long time between sex sessions, but in my experience the quality of the sex entirely makes up for the wait. Sex isn’t a job! You don’t have to have a schedule, or stress about it if you really just need to go to sleep instead. If you need to get off quick, masturbate alone or with your partner. Vibrators are Great for this. Just take the performance pressure off for a while, until both of you are ready to give your all.

Now that our little one is older we’re learning new tricks to distract him while we sneak off for daytime romps in the bed (while we’re still both energetic and enthusiastic). We’ve found the time of day that works best for us (between our opposite work shifts), and we’re comfortable letting each other know just what we want. I’d much rather have the type of sex we’re having once a week than the empty crap we could be putting ourselves through nightly.

New Toys!

Now that I’m working twice the hours I was, and for $0.50 more per hour, we’re feeling pretty comfy. And I mean bottom of the food chain, food stamps-style comfy.

Anyways, what with one thing and another, and especially because our anniversary is coming up (four years of love, three of co-parenting, one of marriage), we’re investing in a couple of items. Nothing over the top, but definitely more than would normally feel okay.

Item One: The retro-awesome Wahl Coil Vibrator. Silent, plug-in love. A friend of mine says, “The cup attachment on my penis? Oh my God, I make the loudest noises Ever.” That’s recommendation enough for me! I’m all about sharing the fun with my man, which brings us to…

Item Two: The incredibly stunning stainless steel sterilizable wonder known as the njoy Pure Wand. Hello g-spot, hello prostate. Hello something so damn pretty we would keep it out to look at if it weren’t for busy little hands getting into things they oughtn’t.

I really hope they’re both here this week, although I -think- I’ll live if they aren’t. Maybe…

Eve

When returning home from work, if I take the bus that runs north of our apartment, and if I’m feeling up for crossing the street further down instead of waiting for a light to change on that particular street, I walk past a fig tree.

This is pretty novel for me, since I grew up in the frigid Northeast and spent five years in the arid Southwest. Things grow here.

Regardless, there’s a fig tree.

With tons and tons of hearty-looking dark green fig leaves on it.

It’s October, which means the stores have pomegranates. I have a husband with a nice camera, and a gold bedspread.

I think it’s time for a little Garden of Eden photoshoot. Whee!

bottoming out

yesterday was the “tell rosetta your pervy little secret/fantasy involving her” day.

now, i’m very fond of pervy little secrets. i’m even more fond of fantasies involving me.

when a beautiful, dear friend discloses that he wants to masturbate for me, i’m simply beaming! thrilled!

a possible lover talking about filling me up with a fist and a cock… i’m biting my lip and squirming in my chair.

and when my ex [finally] comes out about being a crossdresser, i’m thrilled for him. but the thing is, he wants me to be his daddy.

i’m just not that kind of girl. i’m a bottom, and usually the only time i switch up is when i know it’s going to get me some retaliatory domination. what i really want to do now is dress up with him and help him with his makeup. he just completely desexualized himself in my mind!

a lot of things are coming together and making sense now. the dude totally gets off on me correcting his spelling. we never had any sort of conventional sex, which i’m now realizing is probably because neither one of us wanted to be the one in charge. crazy!

he told me i could have figured this out when he started shaving his legs seven years ago. i think it’s wonderfully hilarious that i didn’t make any connections between leg-shaving and anything else. just because you like having smooth legs doesn’t mean you have to like wearing lacy panties! and at the same time, wearing lacy panties has nothing to do with whether you shave or not!

oh, it’s a funny world…