i was looking forward to a nice leisurely bedtime, some touching, some love. didn’t get it.
he says he needs to experience what it’s like being with someone else. yes, okay, fine, we’ve been over this, that should happen if that’s what he wants and needs. i have never had a problem with that, i’ve even tried to help him out with it once or twice.
but he gets in these moods where it’s like he hates himself for being so nice and so shy, and while i sympathize it just sort of makes me aggravated after a point.
dishboy fills a place in my life that the husband would not and could not. i think he needs to figure out what it is that he needs that i don’t give him before he’ll be able to be bold. he tried to turn this around on me, saying that i created the need for him to see other people when i realized that i did. only he can create that need. if it’s not there, it is neither my fault or my problem.
i definitely woke up in a sour mood today. i like to think i’m normally a little nicer than this.
